Tension Raising Behaviours; 100% statements Labelling Put downs and excitable statements Threats Interpreting/analysing/patronising/matronising Collecting allies Non-verbal behaviours Preparing an attack Sarcasm Defensiveness/self justifying Over detailing Tension Reducing Behaviours; Acknowledging probable legitimate concerns Put in perspective Be specific Own the interpretation Own the personal response Invite feedback Invite response
I am interested in convergence – of ideas, of behaviour, of trends, of different disciplines. The more I read, the more common themes I discern in the arts, science, spirituality, leadership and in what we do as mediators. A reflection of this is found in the African concept of ubuntu, “the profound sense that we…
For the sixth time in the past 12 years, CEDR, the UK’s Centre for Effective Dispute Resolution, conducted a 10-minute online survey of UK civil and commercial mediators during May 2014. Raw data has not been published but the results summary was released on May 22nd (available here). Almost 295 mediators responded (18% up on…
As it happens every four years, it is the FIFA World Cup again. I must confess that I am not a football enthusiast myself, but with the greatest football stars at my doorstep, and all the media hype, it is almost impossible for any Brazilian not to get involved at some level. But it is…
Many years ago I was an avid downhill skier. Nothing took my mind off the pressures of practice like a sun-filled cobalt blue morning sky and a virgin white blanket of new fallen snow to carve my way through. Moguls – those mini-mountains of snow that form on some runs – never failed to…
About the time Charlie Irvine was penning his recent post about mediator assistants, a mediation colleague here in New Zealand was saying farewell to his own assistant as he cradled him in his arms. You see, my mate Paul Hutchison, one of New Zealand’s foremost mediators, is blind and Digby (“the biggest dog in the…
According to commentator Rachel Maddow in her book “Drift,” the way the United States goes to war has gradually become more secretive and less democratic. She observes that in the last half century, the decision to go to war has become too easy. This is contrary to what the Founders of our nation had in…
Talking to Dr Gilbert Wong Senior Superintendent, Commanding Officer, Police Negotiation Cadre, Hong Kong Walking into Gilbert Wong’s office is like stumbling into Aladdin’s Cave – a treasure trove of memories and stories of his 21 years in the Hong Kong Police Force. Amongst his library of books on crisis negotiation, psychology, counselling, psychotherapy and…
Czech Innovation: “Mediation Assistants” Fascinating visit to the Czech Republic recently. I was asked to provide the training for a group of ‘mediation assistants’. Never having heard the term before I was intrigued. I flew to Prague (stag-night capital of Europe) and after a reasonably terrifying drive through a rainstorm arrived in in Hradec Králové,…
Over the last number of years I have been educating mediators in a variety of settings, professional and academic. In anticipation of a new training venture due to kick off later this year, which should be a bit of a “green field site” in terms of curriculum design and implementation, I have decided to reflect…
