In July 2014, my Kluwer Blog entry introduced readers to something referred to as “A Mediator’s Prayer”. It was created by Mr. Ting-Kwok IU, a lawyer and mediator based in Hong Kong.
I first met TK in Hong Kong at the 3rd Asian Mediation Association Conference in 2014. TK is a humble and unassuming man and in my interactions with him over the years, I’ve found him to be a strong supporter of mediation and one who inspires others.
He wrote the first Mediator’s Prayer not wanting to have his name associated with it so that it could be propagated in the international mediation community and stand for more than what a single person created. He hoped that the Mediator’s Prayer could serve as a point of inspiration and bonding.
I felt that being identified as the creator of the Mediator’s Prayer was not inconsistent with it being propagated. And since TK was not the type to sing his own praises, I did so for him in the hope that the international mediation community would help propagate it.
I was recently in Hong Kong to deliver a public lecture and had the occasion to see TK. He gifted to me a cup with the second Mediator’s Prayer on it. And since he will not sing his own praises, I will do so in this entry. I give to you TK’s second Mediator’s Prayer. As with the first Mediator’s Prayer, I hope it resonates with you and that you will help TK achieve his goal of propagating it.
Settlement: A Mediator’s Prayer
Thank you for allowing me to be a humble mediator and serving the public by way of mediation services:
As a mediator, I shall:-
Set the scene for the negotiation
Engage the parties
Take note of their needs, concerns and fears
Take note of the common ground
Listen passively and actively
Empathize with the parties
Manage negative emotions positively
Empower the parties
Nudge but not push
Take note that is an assignment from God
It is the parties’ dispute, the parties’ negotiation and their decision on the way forward