Mediation: “The insertion of a human buffer between people who need assistance to interact with each other.” This definition speaks to the three core issues facing the mediator every time they enter a session. Human: to what degree does the mediator insert their own humanity into the process of mediation. Interact: to what degree does…

For readers who are new, the “Neuro-Linguist’s Toolbox” series is an ongoing series focused on using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in our practice of amicable dispute resolution. The first section (with 6 entries) focused on rapport (the first of which can be found here). This second section focuses on matters of self-care and personal improvement for…

money

Twice today I’ve found myself responding to mediator reflections in these terms: the money’s not about the money. Both cases involved financial negotiation, even haggling, but that’s deceptive. The key to settlement lay not in the realm of calculation and rationality but in the more opaque social world of face, punishment, justice and emotion. In…

Holidays are a wonderful thing. Not only are they a great opportunity to step outside the obligations and scheduling of daily life, they open the space where the bigger picture lives. And so it was for me in my lovely apartment at the top of the cliff in Riomaggiore on the Cinque Terre in Italy….

“You’ve done what?” It took just a moment. The red mist descended. The words were out before I could haul them back in. “You’ve just gone behind my back and undermined what I set out, and we had agreed, we would do….you might at least have had the courtesy…..” The lawyer had just told me…

Many years ago, a group of friends were driving in the south of England in a rental car and, in need of directions (pre-Google maps and GPS), we pulled over to the side of the road to ask a gentleman the way. I leapt out, approached him and asked for the directions, to which he…

At a certain point, when another offer was denied, one of the managers showed a real disappointment with the hard negotiation approach presented by the other party: “You know what?! I lost my patience. I will not sit here any further… I will ask my lawyer to finish the formalities and let’s see each other…

This post written by Greg Wood and Constantin Adi Gavrilă. Is about the values of shadowing based on our shadowing experience that allowed reflections and lessons learned, we’d like to share. Greg, a Los Angeles based mediator with special expertise in resolving intellectual property disputes, received a letter of thanks from a US. District Court…

Charlie Irvine in his recent Kluwer blog (Mediation Values: Still Searching) suggested it is our values that determine what we do or say in a mediation rather than any techniques we learn as mediators. Charlie gives a mediation example where the husband wanted to claim his full pension as part of the division of assets….

I have been looking into matters of self-care and personal improvement for mediators recently and was surprised to find that, even though there has been some writing on this, there isn’t a lot. So, I would like to focus my next section of blog entries in the “Neuro-Linguist’s Toolbox” series. For readers who are new,…