Forced into quarantine due to COVID-19, thousands of miles away from home; I have struggled with silence, but eventually made peace with it, thanks to my Jesuit upbringing. Over a decade ago, as a Jesuit novice, I ventured on a reflective journey called the ‘Spiritual Exercises’ – a month-long retreat that is the hallmark of…
I have been thinking about some aspects of listening recently. For quite a long while I have been listening to myself, trying to work out where I stand on the skill of listening, its use and its limits professionally in mediation, conflict management, and coaching, and privately, and also on my own needs to be…
Mediation: “The insertion of a human buffer between people who need assistance to interact with each other.” This definition speaks to the three core issues facing the mediator every time they enter a session. Human: to what degree does the mediator insert their own humanity into the process of mediation. Interact: to what degree does…
I was first introduced to Kluwer Mediation Blog by Professor Joel Lee of the National University of Singapore when he shared “A Mediator’s Prayer” in his July 2014 blog entry. Joel is no stranger here. He is not only a prominent mediator but also a Chinese martial arts master. Joel practises and teaches Wing Chun –…
Recently, I had the privilege of facilitating a session at Scotland’s Citizens Assembly at which politicians from four political parties took the opportunity to discuss with the Assembly members (over 100 people randomly recruited from across Scotland) their vision for the future of the country. At the outset, I framed it as a departure from…
For readers who are new, the “Neuro-Linguist’s Toolbox” series is an ongoing series focused on using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in our practice of amicable dispute resolution. The first section (with 6 entries) focused on rapport (the first of which can be found here). This second section focuses on matters of self-care and personal improvement for…
At a lunch at Globe House, Temple Place in London in early 2006 on a balcony overlooking the Thames, the host, Michael Leathes, then an in-house corporate counsel with some years of user experience in mediation and the arb-med hybrid, asked me and the others present – Jeremy Lack, Tina Monberg, Miryana Nešić and Irena…
It is trite that developing trust with parties and as between the parties is a vital part of the mediation process and what makes it work. This is of course easier said than done. I have previously written on trust in “Trusting Thoughts” (12 August 2012) and “More Reflections on Trust” (14 August 2015). I…
Charlie Irvine in his recent Kluwer blog (Mediation Values: Still Searching) suggested it is our values that determine what we do or say in a mediation rather than any techniques we learn as mediators. Charlie gives a mediation example where the husband wanted to claim his full pension as part of the division of assets….
Photo credit: Christof Häuser, via Nathalie Birli We mediators are accustomed to recognising empathy as an important part of our mediation repertoire which is consistently reinforced in our training and professional development. It is front of mind for many of us as we plan for and conduct our mediations. This blog has seen its fair…
